A Response from a new Follower !!!

Lisa,

I am so so happy you decided to contact me.  No, I do not recall your husband, but I'm sure we met.

Wow... so much to say...  I'm gonna do a copy and paste, so I can be as complete as possible.  Warning... this may be a long message.  As you now know... I like to write!

This morning I stumbled across your motorcycle blog completely by coincidence, and was so surprised to see a posting about Tokosaben. I'm related to the Benthins...

One of the best families I know.  I was not able to become as close to them as I'd wished.  Jane & Parker are a little older than me, and much more cerebral.  I'm more of a visceral kinda guy.

... through marriage, spent my honeymoon at Toko back in 1992, 

I have permission from the Kobiashi family (Wink & Tim are my age, and Jill), to spread (50% ish of) my ashes on their property.  The 'plot' closest to The Lake.

To me, life revolves around Tokosaben (and the Sierras in general), and The Monterey Bay (I grew up in small community called La Selva Beach, in Santa Cruz County.  I am now living in San Francisco, living with my wife Sharon King, who moved here in 21 years ago.  If you EVER get close to SF, PLEASE let me know.  Phone number here, and at bottom of this message:

Ned Opdyke

831-818-2936

... accumulated my share of Tokosaben stories over the years,

Here's one of my earliest ones:

My twin brother (Don) and I would get up about 8am, have breakfast, and then hop on our matching Honda 50 Mini Trail motorcycles.  His was blue, mine was red, and the yellow one was the 'extra one for friends.'

We'd take off, and explore as much of the area as possible, until our gas was running low, and then return to home base for gas, a swim, and some food.  Usually within 30 minutes of our return, we'd be off and away again, exploring more of the surrounding area, or... playing on a fun stretch of terrain that we'd found to me entertaining.  For example, no too far off the property was the 'Hill Climb.'  It was possible to get to the top without having to put our feet down to help push the bikes up the last part of it, but it took a lot of skill and some luck to do it.

... watched my kids learn to fish there,

I have never been a big fisherman.  I'm pretty sure, the only fish I've ever caught, was a Trout, captured out of South Fork of The Tuolumne River... upstream from Rainbow Pool to be exact (which has been my favorite place IN THE WORLD since my first visit in 1970.

The 'funniest' fishing story I have about Toko, is when I was out in the Kobiashi's "Full Boat" (a large, home made kayak for two).  Wink caught a 'sun fish,' which is one of the 'feeder' fish, his family had stocked the lack with, as food for the Bass.  He reeled the little guy (girl?) up to the edge of the boat, and instead of reaching down to unhook it and let it go, as I was expecting him to do... he pulled it out of the lake... adjust the line, so that the fish (about 4~6" long as I recall) was hanging about 12" from the end of the pole.

What he did then is hard to write about.  It still makes my heart sad.  He started, swinging the fishing pole back and forth over our heads... smashing the fish into the surface of the water.  Back and forth, back and forth (maybe about 5~8 times?) until the fish broke apart, and fell off the hook.

It was carnage and disgrace, and all every other bad thing that can be said about the sanctity and respect for life.  What saddens me most about this memory, is that it still makes me laugh a little on the inside.  SHHHH. I will never admit that.  Oh wait, this is in print.  Fortunately, I can be very creative when I write, and I'm sure if anyone ever brings it up, I'll be able to come up with an explanation that makes me appear to be a good guy.

... got to know Virginia Tindall,

Another one of the Great Families in The World.  Virginia became my mom after my mom died.

... and eventually mourned Aunt Thea & Uncle Dick having to sell.

I don't think anyone mourned that sale more than me.  I tried and tried to gather enough funds to buy the property myself.  I also tried really hard to develop a relationship with the folks that bought it (relatives of some sort... maybe you could help me with this...).

I was (am still) hoping that I would be considered to do maintenance work on the cabin, in trade for occasional visitation rights.

... It seems even more coincidental that I saw your posting today, after having a long but rare phone conversation with Dick just last night.

There are no coincidences.  I'm getting ready to read The Celestine Prophecy Series, by James Redfielld again.  If you haven't read them, I highly recommend that you do.

I make that recommendation to everyone that can.  It was (kind of) life changing for me.  Not really, but it's a damn good story.  A spiritual philosophy that I believe is as close to true truth as I've ever read.  Clarification:  Some people believe there is only one truth.  I believe there are infinite truths.  One for each living soul.
It seems unlikely you'd remember my husband Bill, the oldest of the Benthin's four nephews.

See above.

 He helped build their cabin, working on it almost every weekend that year.

Do you have any pictures of the process?  Or access to any pictures?  Are you close to Jane and - -?  Stokes?, or Parker?

... Of the Quintero boys, Rob would have been closest to your age,

I just turned 58.  Yes, I am aware that I look much younger.  I feel a whole lot younger too, by the way.  Usually.  Sometimes I get tired and have to take a nap... but I ALWAYS (knock on wood) wake up rip roarin' and ready to go.  Ask me about how and why I wake up that way if you're curious.

 

... so maybe you'd remember him. Rob and Bill both loved Toko,

I would be concerned about the sanity of anyone who did NOT love that 40 acres of paradise on Earth.

... and both are now avid motorcyclists.

Please forward this message to both of them.  Rob, Bill... LET'S RIDE !!!

I've attached two of my favorite pictures of Honey, my 2006 Honday VTX 1300 R.

(Another connection that made your blog seem like even more of a coincidence!)

Please understand:  I am seriously a 'true' believer that There Are No Coincidences.

... I'm sure if Uncle Dick still had the place, or Virginia was still around, they'd be making road trips there. 

Good news!  I'm very good friends with Ambria Witt (a daughter of Terry, Art & Virginia's daughter) who now owns and lives in the Family Home).  With a little notice, we could stay there anytime we ask.  As is very typical with members of Great Families, she is very family oriented, and gracious and generous, and all those really cool things that makes a family (person) Great.

 FYI, I stumbled on your blog while googling research on the Stanislaus National Forest for work, and started reading some postings --

Wow, that is REALLY NEAT to hear.  I had no idea my blog was getting so 'high' on the search engines' results.  I should really go back and add in a lot more 'key words.'  I haven't been very diligent with that, since I first opened the blog about 5 years ago.

... awfully easy to be distracted on a leisurely Sunday morning. 

If you don't remember, that's one of the first things you read on the 'Cover Page' of my blog:

"I do enjoy sharing the circumstances and events that occur to me on my Road Trips, but mostly...

I want to share what's inside me... my emotions, my intuitions, and my dreams...

With the hope of distracting and encouraging you to think outside the box.

We all need to be distracted and encouraged once in a while, don’t we?

If this distraction also brings enjoyment or entertainment to you… It will make me happy.

Anyway, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to drop you a line.

Lisa, please feel free to correspond with me as much as possible.

And the same applies to everyone who ever reads any of my ramblings.  But please remember... as I say as my 'copy write protection' at the end of each of my stories...

"All rights and wrongs are in place."

The 12 Questions...

and

MY ATTEMPT TO ANSWER THEM

By:  Ned Opdyke

February 2013 ~ May 2014

nedopdyke@gmail.com

www.motorcycleadventurestoriesandmore.blogspot.com/

THE QUESTIONS:

           

           1  -    Why am I here? 

           2  -   What am I here to learn?

           3  -    Why do I try so hard to make people like me?

           4  -    Why do I act like a clown sometimes?

           5  -    Why am I insecure?  

           6  -   Why do I need a soul mate in my life?

           7  -    What makes me so special ~ different from everyone else?

           8  -    What is it that ‘really’ makes me happy?

           9  -    What do I want people to remember about me when I’m gone?

        10  -    How have I changed over the last 10 years?

        11  -    Why do I feel awkward when things are going good for me?

        12  -    Why am I afraid to develop the spiritual side of me?

1  -   Why am I here?

The answers I’ve heard from people about this question range from the supremely egotistical, “Humans are the ultimate expression of God,” to the incredibly meek, “We are like ants, scratching out a life in the sand.”

Personally, I believe that both ends of the scale are valid and correct.

For most of my life I was too busy trying to enjoy my life to really put too much thought into this question.  Then it struck me… that’s it… !!

The reason I was put on this planet was to simply enjoy and appreciate my life and to help other people enjoy and appreciate their lives too.

Love, beauty, and happiness are around us at all times.  It is only our over involvement in our own close-minded and mundane thoughts, behaviors, and actions, that keep us from seeing it and letting it penetrate our awareness.

2  -   What am I here to learn?

My first wife’s father was a soft spoken and gentle man.  He didn’t really like to take center stage and preferred to sit back and watch what was going on around him.  And then… just when you thought he might have been ready to fall asleep, he would very quietly say something very profound.  That’s what I would like to learn how to do.

My default mode of passing along my (so called) wisdom, has been to shout it out to as many people as could hear me in my vicinity, even if they didn’t ask for my opinion or input.  I would like to learn how to hold on to my thoughts and keep them to myself.  To only express them when asked, or when it was obvious that it was appropriate to speak.

There is not a doubt in the world to me that I have worthwhile life knowledge and the ability to communicate this knowledge.  My goal is to be comfortable with this knowledge within myself and not feel the requirement to share it with any and everyone who crosses my path, and to give others their own space and not feel the urge to ‘help’ them all the time.

Sometimes people don't want, or aren't ready to be helped, and sometimes... guess what?...  They don't need any help!

3  -   Why do I try so hard to make people like me?

The next three questions all tie in together for me.  I’m sure it’s my insecurity that causes me to draw attention to myself in my attempt to gain recognition and self worth.

I know in my heart I’m a good person, but I also know there are aspects to my consciousness that lean more toward the ‘not so good.’  I have always been a visceral and tactile person and have spent way too many years (mostly in my past) searching for gratification in a purely (let’s say) animalistic way.  I accept my ‘human’ nature, and try to embrace it, but sometimes I feel guilty for succumbing to my sexual desires.

It is this guilt, I believe, that makes me want to act out in a way that shows people that there is more to me than just that.  I tend to overcompensate and overpower people in my efforts to prove myself… to myself!  Other people wouldn’t necessarily think twice about some of my actions or statements, and I know it’s this self-doubt that I carry inside that is the real problem.

Opening my heart and exposing it (even to myself) is terrifying to me.  I’m afraid of finding that the dark part in there is a bigger part of me than what I want to believe.

Trying to find people who will support me and like me is a way for me to keep my fear abated.   

4  -   Why do I act like a clown sometimes?

In my effort to help people be happy and enjoy themselves, sometimes I go too far.  Sometimes I get over exuberant and get carried away with the attention I am getting.

As I mentioned previously, I’m sure a large part of this is based on my insecurity and self-doubt.  If people are smiling and laughing at me, I must be a good guy, right?  Not necessarily.

Sometimes the people are laughing ‘at’ me and not ‘with’ me.  I’ve seen the look in their eyes… sometimes they don’t wait for me to turn my head away before they roll their eyes back into their heads.  Overcompensation due to a feeling of inadequacy is a likely answer to this question.

5  -  Why am I insecure?

So here it is… the first really difficult question for me.  Not because of the answer I’m about to face, but because of the fact that I honestly cannot come up with any kind of an answer whatsoever.  I’m smart, I’m good looking, I’m good in bed… I seriously cannot figure out why I have always had doubts about myself.

The only thing I can come up with is that I’m embarrassed because I’m such an underachiever.  I’ve always had the inner belief inside me that I’m supposed to provide something of substance and importance to this world, and… alas… I’ve done virtually nothing.

Sure, as a general contractor I’ve provided several hundred people beautiful additions to their homes.  And now as a tour guide, I’ve brought smiles and laughter to thousands and thousands of more people, but… I cannot help but believe that there was (is?) something else I’m supposed to do while I’m here.

Maybe if I can figure out the answer to that question, I’ll figure out the answer to my insecurity (?).

6  -   Why do I need a soul mate in my life?

When I was a young teenager I was introduced to the writings of Richard Bach… first “Jonathon Livingston Seagull,” and then several others.  The book of his that made the biggest impression on me was “One.”  In it, he spoke of the concept of two people combining themselves into something greater than the sum of their individual selves; the concept of 1 + 1 = 3.

I fell in love with the thought that I would find the one person on this planet that I could combine myself with, and create something beautiful together.  Over the following years (and failed marriages), I’ve modified my dream substantially.  My soul mate doesn’t make me something I’m not, nor do we lose our individuality as we grow, teach, and learn from each other.

Not only that, but I learned that it was the lack of belief in me as a complete individual that kept me from finding that person.  Once I changed my focus and stopped trying to find someone to help me become a better person… she appeared!

7 -  What makes me so special~different from everyone else?

We are all made of the same substance(s).  We are all stardust.  As far as we can determine so far, the universe goes on and on forever, with an infinite number of stars.  Therefor, although we are all made of the same elements, we truly are all different, special, unique, and most importantly... infinite.

We are each soul, a spark of energy that came from… “God”… “A Higher Power”… or any other name, term, or concept you wish to use.  We are each currently inhabiting a particular body, and we are here for one reason, and one reason alone;  to learn, to grow, to appreciate, and to enjoy the process.

Celebrating the diversity is the key.  Don’t try to put yourself or anyone else on a scale, measuring or comparing against, with, or to, anyone else.  Yes, we all are different, and… guess what… we are all correct in our beliefs.

I know this doesn’t really answer my question, but the harder I try to answer it, the further away I get.

We are all special and different because we are all special and different.

8  -   What is it that ‘really’ makes me happy?

This is another tough one for me.  I’ve always been the type of person that is always looking for that next mountain to climb, the next challenge to face, the next activity to make me smile.

For a while, golf made me happy; the inner challenge, coupled with the camaraderie and the time spent in a beautiful outdoor setting.  Lately it’s been motorcycle riding… specifically long road trips across the open country.

But when I get right down to it… the thing that really makes me happy isn’t an activity as much as it is a situation.  I experience the most happiness when I see somebody else having fun.  An expression of joy, excitement, and happiness on someone else’s face fills me with love and appreciation for life.

9 -  What do I want people to remember about me when I’m gone?

I would like people to think of me with a question mark in their eyes.  I like the part of me that surprises people and makes them wonder what it is that I’m thinking, and then… hopefully… makes them think about themselves and the world around them differently.

It seems to me that a lot of people are in a walking slumber.  I see a lot of people every day with eyes that don’t seem to have any real life or a sense of interest about where they are, or what they’re doing.

It’s so refreshing to me, to see someone who has eyes that are reaching out and connecting with other people.  It’s that joy of life that I mentioned in my last question that comes to mind.

I would like people to remember me as someone who enjoyed life, no matter what type of a situation he was in; someone who had an easy smile, and who listened to others when they spoke.  Someone who liked to do favors for people, and wasn’t shy about asking for help when he needed it.

But mostly, I would like to be remembered as someone who loved;  people, places, things… someone who just loved the principle of love.

10  -   How have I changed over the last 10 years?

Quite a bit actually; ten years ago I was recently divorced from my second wife, and going through a mid-life crisis.  I’d hooked up with a beautiful blonde bombshell, and was spending almost all my time drinking and playing.  The economy was starting to slow down, but I wasn’t.  I was living my life like I was a teenager without any cares, responsibilities, or self-control.

At the time, I thought I was fine… just having fun, and wasn’t concerned about what the future had in store for me.  I was living in the present, but not in a good way.

Now, besides having another beautiful blonde bombshell and a motorcycle in my life, I’m a totally different person.  I (try to) remember to think before I speak; care about other people’s feelings; and drink alcohol in a much more moderate fashion.

And guess what?  Now I’m having as much fun (or more) than I ever have!

- - -   long pause   - - -

It’s taken me over a year to come back to this list of questions.  These last two have continued to stump me, but I feel it’s time I made an attempt to address them, so I can share this list with my loved ones.

11 -   Why do I feel awkward when things go good for me?

I can only think of two reasons:  1)  I’m afraid the situation won’t last and I’ll be disappointed when things go ‘back to normal.’  And 2)  … ok, I guess I can only think of one reason.

It appears I ‘talk the talk’ of living in the present and being grateful for what I have, but alas… I must admit it’s only a façade.  I guess in a way, at heart I’m greedy.  The thought of never having a reason to endeavor… to strive for something… seems like a slow death for me.

And what makes this whole topic kinda funny (in a sad way) is that I know in my heart, that the thing that I MUST strive and endeavor to reach is… so simple and close to me.  Why is it so difficult for me to relax?  I guess there’s more than twelve questions to this list…

12  -   Why am I afraid to develop the spiritual side of me?

This goes back to my early teen years.  My parents exposed me to a technique called “Alpha Perception,” and my experience with this ‘practice’ scared the shit outta me.  It absolutely proved to me, without any doubt, the potential ‘power’ of the human mind.  I experienced a sort of ‘out of body’ feeling, where I felt like I was every-where in the Universe, and no-where, at the same time.  I felt more fully alive than every before, and totally disconnected to anything close to life, simultaneously.  It was very unsettling to me, to put it mildly.

I realized that I had ‘the power’ inside me, to create and accomplish anything I ever wanted or could ever dream of wanting.  It was kinda like a feeling of omnipotence… like touching God.  No… more like being God.

Now, after all the years of hiding from this… reading the philosophical teachings of many ‘masters,’ and consciously understanding the concept that we are, all, God… it still frightens me.  I’m sure it goes back to my self doubt.  I’m afraid I’ll be corrupted by the ‘power’ I have inside me… that I’ll abuse and waste it like I’ve abused and wasted everything else in my life.

Thank you for reading this

Some Facts and Some Figures

                                        ROAD TRIP ADVENTURE RIDES
                                                       Facts and Figures


            Name of Story                                                 Dates            Days   Miles   Miles/ Day

Please Allow Me to Introduce My Selves               10/24 - 11/7/ 2008   15    4,561    304

From Here to There and Back Again                           5/14-26/ 2009   15    3,157    210

I Love Texas                                                              7/20-26/ 2009    7    2,406    344

California is my Home (But I Still Love Texas)         9/26 -10/1/ 2009    5    2,089    418

The Last Adventure Ride… of 2009 *                         12/18-29/ 2009   12    2,682    224

9-State Loop Ride '05                                                 6/10-22/ 2005   13    3,388    261

Killeen Texas is My New Home                                    5/20-23/ 2010    4    2,165    541

A Memorable Memorial Day Weekend in Galveston   5/30 -31/ 2010       2       677    339

The Hill Country, Our Second Visit                                   6/13/ 2010    1       298    298

Glacier Point & Devils Postpile                                 6/25 & 29/ 2010    2       495    248

Day Ride - Mt. Tamalpais                                                3/11/ 2011    1       230    230

A Lot of Firsts and One Last                                          8/5-9/ 2011    5       775    155

Shake Down Ride to Coalinga                                            4/7/ 2012    1       345    345

Oysters, Fog, Curves, and Beer                                  4/22 -23/ 2012    2       255    128

Our Super-Honey-Moon-Adventure Ride                       5/5 -13/ 2012   10    2,366    237

Six States & Five Chocolate Cream Pies                        9/6-16/ 2012   11    3,502    318

A Tragedy in The Family                                        5/23 - 4/2/ 2014   11    2,442    222

Nine Days of Saturdays                                            5/30 - 6/7/ 2014    9    2,239    249

September Solo Session                                             9/124-29/ 2014    6       990    165

* in a truck, not a motorcycle

                                                                                  TOTALS        132   35,062    265