A little about me, and why I'm doing this.

I do enjoy sharing the circumstances and events that occur to me on my Road Trips, but mostly...

I want to share what's inside me... my emotions, my intuitions, and my dreams...

With the hope of distracting and encouraging you to think outside the box.

We all need to be distracted and encouraged once in a while, don’t we?

If this distraction also brings enjoyment or entertainment to you… It will make me happy.

I hope you decide you want to get to know me.

I hope you decide you want to get to know me.
I would love to get to know you!
My photo
San Francisco, California, United States
I'm an open minded, honest, fun loving guy, who loves sharing … my insights, my experiences, and my opinions about life... other people … and anything else that jumps into my mind when I’m in (or out of) the saddle. Spirituality-YES. Religion-NO. Sexuality-YES. Politics-NO. Humor-ALWAYS.

THIS IS SHARON

THIS IS SHARON
My Student, My Mentor, My Soulmate.

May 18, 2013

"Climbing My Pyramid"


I’m sure it was partly because of the situation, but I believe it was mostly because that’s simply the way the native people are here.  I truly felt connected and understood.  One of the other taxi drivers used a word for 'blood,' and pointed at one of the veins in his arm to show me that he understood how I felt.  I don't remember ever feeling so much at home, so far away from where I lived.

It may be getting old for some of you by now, but I must keep saying it. The native people of the Yucatan, the Mayan people specifically, are true humans.

- - - - - - - -

We got in our taxi and headed off to Chitzen-Itza.  I lost track of how many taxis we’d been in, but all together we estimated we spent about $1,200 total.  We were on our way to the pyramid I’ve wanted to climb my whole life.  I was so excited I could almost not contain myself.  I felt like a kid going to Disneyland.

- - - - - - - -

I met Wilbert, one of the staff at the hotel, and told him my lifelong dream of being on top of this particular pyramid to watch the sunrise.  It was one of those special moments... correct time, correct person, correct method of the request... it was one of the luckiest moments of my life... because... he said, "Be at the gate to the park, at 5am and Jose will meet you there."  I almost fainted.  I wanted to make sure of the meeting point, so he walked me the +/- 200 yards, through the hotel grounds, and pointed to the gate.

- - - - - - - -

I have been blessed (or is it cursed?) with the need to learn more about myself, and the world around me.  I know I will never reach my Nirvana... my piece of peace… 'heaven on earth.'   I understand that it is only a concept… that except for a state of mind, it is not possible for humans while alive on this planet, to attain this state of being.  Try to understand me... it is not the idea of actually reaching this place that drives me... it is the effort of the journey, that winds my clock.  I truly live for the walk.

(Editors note:  Although I still believe it to be unlikely for me... I now do believe it is possible... to reach 'Nirvana' while still alive.)

Few people I’ve spoken to in my life understand me.  Often, even I do not understand me.  One thing I have learned over the years is to accept that aspect of my personality and not deny it.  In fact, I have always tried to nurture it.  I don't care if my journey has a definite ending point… I'm just gonna enjoy the journey.

- - - - - - - -

I want to try and experience every step… every piece of gravel under my feet… every leaf on every branch on every tree.   Every sound I hear… from the jungle in front of me… the hotel grounds behind me… and every inhalation and exhalation I take which was supporting my ever-growing mind and body.  I know this is one of those very special moments... my life was changing.

I reach a point on the jungle path where I can see a clearing ahead of me and to my right.  I stop instantly and take three deep long breaths.  I’m pretty sure this is the place.  I feel the hair tingling on my arms and back.

I do not like back hair, or nose hair, or ear hair, or diminishing eyesight or hearing, but I know the only alternative for me, is death, and I dislike that even more.
 
After about two minutes, I gain my wits enough to start slowly walking.  Actually, I wouldn’t call it walking.  I would call it creeping.  I could feel the energy around me, and did NOT want to disturb the gods.  I wanted them to feel my presence and my honest and sincere respect and love.  I knew they could feel my fear.
 
Yes… fear.  I was afraid.  I hadn’t been afraid of the hurricane… I wasn’t afraid of dying from a stroke, or my claustrophobia… I wasn’t afraid of anything in my life... until now.  I wasn't afraid of the gods, but of the spirits of the Mayan people, who created this masterpiece of worship.  I wanted them to know their efforts were very appreciated, and I was very grateful to be a part of it.  The good part… not the part about sacrificing the virgins.  That will not be in this story.

Just before coming out of the jungle and into the clearing, I saw one of the sides of My Pyramid.  It’s the southwest corner and once again, I froze.  The hair stood up all over my body, and even though it was warm… about 75 degrees, I felt a cold shiver throughout my body, and the hair all over my body felt like it was standing straight up.  Even the hair on my genitals felt it.
                                                               - - - - - - - -

As I turned to face My Pyramid, the cold shiver came back with frighteningly stronger gusto.  I wasn’t sure I had the strength, physical or emotional, to move any closer to the base.  After standing there like a statue for about 15 seconds, I turned back to Jose y Jose, and said, “Are you sure you don’t want to join me?”  They both smiled lovingly, and the first Jose said, "No, this is for you to do alone."  As I had suspected, they understood the supreme importance of this part of my spiritual journey.

Sometimes, usually more than not, people do misunderstand me.  Physically, I am a large man with a full voice, and sometimes my exuberance gets the better of me.  My girlfriend told me the other day that she feels intimidated by me at times.  I can appreciate and understand this mistake they make in my intentions.  I feel strong and confident most of the time.  I have always felt like God gave me a very large, strong, good heart.  I have always felt a kinship with the human race.  I have always believed it was my purpose on this planet to help other people.

Well, unfortunately, most people on this planet are scared… afraid to let other people into their realities.  Afraid the other person’s intent is to steal from them, or worse.  Although I understand this,  it still saddens me that they cannot sense the sincerity of my thoughts and actions.  Some do.  Don’t get me wrong, I have many close friends who draw on my energy, and let me draw on theirs.

I’m writing about this now because during my two weeks in The Yucatan Peninsula, I met many locals.  Perhaps 50 of whom I greeted with handshakes, names, and even ambrasos y ambrasas (hugs), and they all seemed to understand me.

I was truly home in The Yucatan.  I think I mentioned in Chapter One, how I believe they could sense the Mayan blood in me… we were related.  We are all related by blood.  I hope someday this World of People will evolve to a place where we do not have to be afraid of each other.  Probably not in my lifetime, but if any of my three daughters have children, and their children have children, and they all talk about me to their children, then maybe, I choose to believe that just maybe, there will be a seed of me that will be alive, to experience Nirvana… Heaven on Earth.  Please allow me my pipe dream.  I understand the odds of this happening, but it helps me smile at people during the day and to sleep soundly at night.
- - - - - - - -

I walked towards the middle of the steps on the North Face, but then veered back to my right… back to the West, and a place near the NW corner.  I put the tips of my toes against the rock… put my hand out in front of me…  leaned into my pyramid… and kissed it.  A kiss of love for its history and its incredible presence.  I had been waiting my entire life for this moment.
 
I begin a new chapter, a new beginning in my lifelong journey towards Nirvana.  I once again lean into my pyramid and… hand over hand… foot over foot… I begin my ascent to the top.  Needless to say, I was feeling very emotional.  I felt very little physical strength, but I also felt this journey was gonna be well worth my effort.  I was not literally shaking, but the insides of me were feeling different than I’ve ever felt, and if I tried to explain it to you now, it would take another 10 pages, and so… I’ll make that another story.

I reach the approximate 1/3-point up.  I’m not counting steps.  I’m saving my brain cells to feel the spirituality of the moment.  I do not want to ever forget this feeling.  That is the main reason I’m writing this story… for me.  Thank you for reading it.  I hope you’re having as much fun reading it, as I am writing it.

At the 1/3-point up, I stop… carefully turn around, and sit down.  I look around my visual surroundings, but mostly, I try to feel my spiritual surroundings.  Two minutes there was all I could afford… the sunrise was scheduled for about 6:55, and I was sure it wouldn’t wait for me.

I reach the approximate 2/3-point of my climb, and do the same thing as I did at the 1/3-point.
Just as my eyes reached the level of the catwalk, which went around the +/- 25’ by 25’ square by 25’ high temple on the top… I stopped for the last time.  I didn’t turn around and sit this time.  I could see an archway through the North Face of the Temple, and did not want to show it any disrespect.  I closed my eyes, bowed my head and shoulders, and rested my forehead on the stone edge of the top of My Pyramid.

I could see the sky getting lighter to my left, and realized if I lolly gagged too much more, I’d miss My Sunrise.

                                   YES, THIS WAS MY SUNRISE  
                      GOD WAS GIVING ME HIS SUPREME GIFT 
                                      A SUN, A SON, THE ONE

I relax, let my arms drop to my sides, palms facing East, and breath as deeply, slowly, and completely as I ever have in my past life.  My new life was beginning, and once again I had to fight back the tears and the jerking motion of my torso, as I sobbed with joy and gratefulness to be in this moment.  I could sense Jose checking me out, to see if I was gonna loose it, and I turned my head, and nodded to him that I was just fine.

I was perfect.  Well, at least as perfect as I’d ever felt before.  I’m gonna try to hold onto that feeling for the rest of my life.  And what’s different now, is that I’m gonna try to share that feeling I have with others, in a less demanding manner.  Wish me luck on that one.  Those of you who already know me, know it won't be easy for me.

Time has stood still.  The last two minutes seemed like twenty to me.  I tried to move very quietly while nervously rocking my body side to side, as the gravel crackled under my sandals, for what seemed like 10 minutes.  I had been down on my belly with my chin on my hands, for what seemed like another 10 minutes.  I was not counting my breaths, but I was aware that I was breathing deeper and slower and more completely than at any other time of my life.  I thought to myself... is this the day the sun will not rise?

I feel sort of giddy and anxious like a little kid, waiting for Christmas morning to arrive.  But not really... it was different… I feel a calm inside of me that I have never felt before.  I think it was what I’ve been looking for, my entire life... inner peace.  There was no way for me to be sure… I had never felt inner peace.

(Editor's note:  Now I have!)

My Sun’s top edge appeared with small daggers of crimson yellow and I thought, laughing at my bizarre sense of humor, "Whew, there you are… I was beginning to worry about you."  I’m laughing at my humor, which I get from my mother, and crying with sincere love for the entire world, which I also get from my mother.

I could feel my body start to jerk again from my sobs, but then… once again, the feeling of inner peace, a joy of contentment, filled the inside of me, to what had to be capacity.  Any more of this feeling and I think I may end up in an explosion of human flesh, blood, and body parts smeared all over the side of the My Temple, and poor Jose.

I descended My Pyramid in the same way I went up.  Hand over hand… foot over foot.  I stopped at the 1/3-point down, turned around and sat down and looked around, and then again at the 2/3 point down.  It was at this time that the new energy and confidence that I had received from My Sun almost got out of control.  I felt very powerful and I should’ve remembered the slogan on the front of one of my favorite tee-shirts which says, “I’m Like a Superhero... Without Any Powers, or Motivation."

Well, I forgot the 'no powers' part, and decided to try and walk the remaining 1/3 of the way down like I was going down a steep stairway... facing outward… away from My Pyramid.  I took one cautious step with my left foot first, and then my right.  When my right foot planted, slowly and securely… my knee buckled, cracked, and popped… and I almost fell.  Fortunately I didn’t.  I told myself I was lucky to cheat death, or at least severe injury.  I sadly turned back, facing My Pyramid and completed my descent like an old man.

I used to be an athlete, I’m not sure if I mentioned this in a previous chapter… I used to play basketball.  I didn’t put as much effort into it as my twin brother Donnie, but I was more than just a capable player.  I had good timing and instincts, and could jump high enough to stuff the ball.  Not the running jumping off one foot, kinda jump like the way most people do it.  I could jump much higher if I planted and pushed off both feet at once.

Anyway, I’m mentioning this now ‘cuz I still get sad sometimes about not being able to do some of the things I used to, like walk down the steps of My Pyramid like the athlete I used to be.  I am no longer young, or able to do very many of the physical things I used to be able to do.  Fortunately, I can still compete with the kids, ‘cuz like my dad used to say…

            "Age and Treachery will Always Win over Youth and Ability."

My dad was a real character.  I wish he and my mom could've read this story.

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