TUESDAY, MAY 19th - DAY 6:
6:00am - Up and at 'em. Had to go down the street for coffee. How does anyone survive without coffee?
7:30am - I took Peter (Mimi's son from her second failed marriage) to school. He's a nice kid… a 6'1", 250 lbs. gentle giant. A bright, witty and a very loving 16 year old. He's also a talented artist… mostly pencil sketches… and a football player who already has the College scouts talking to him.
11:00am - Off to Tacoma to visit Ashley… my soon to be second (of three) college graduated daughters. Mimi very generously told me to drive her extra vehicle, a '07 F-150 almost exactly like the one I own. I accepted her gracious offer with extreme thanks. It was about 50 degrees and raining, and it woulda been an unpleasant ride down and back on Honey.
Side Note: You can tell who the Seattle locals are… I remember when I lived here… when the average high temperature reaches 50~55, that's when it's time to break out the shorts, tee shirts, and flip-flops. I'm still un-acclimated to the cold, but already I feel my body adapting. The human body (and mind)… they're amazing things. Thank ya Jesus.
Noon - Arrived at Ashley and John's apartment. We sat and talked on the fourth floor balcony, looking out at the downtown Tacoma harbor. Ashley's not a big Tacoma fan (I wonder how many there are), and is very much looking forward to moving to Portland and starting the next chapter of her life.
John works as a critical care nurse at several of the local hospital ER's. Ash is graduating with a degree in Social Work, and is looking for employment and experience with a non-profit mental health association. She's got a phone interview tomorrow morning, for a counselor's position in a re-hab facility.
She's turning into a very mature and well-spoken young woman. I can still see the twinkle - sparkle in her eyes, that lets me know she's still got her youthful exuberance, but the way she speaks… with lots of well formed, and very clearly worded sentences, is very impressive to me. She's easy to understand except for some of her vocabulary. She speaks like a well-educated professional. Ask me if I'm proud. Never mind, I'll tell you. I am.
We sat on their her and talked about all sorts of things… from her mother, to her sister and brother, to all of her cousins on my side of the family, and then she expressed sorrow about not knowing a lot of them very well. Then we talked about the uncomfortable topic of how she lost her father at the age of three.
I'm gonna try not to cry while I tell you this: She apologized to me for being so distant towards me for so much of her life. She said she was sorry that she felt unable to be close to me for so many years.
My heart was breaking as she expressed this heart felt love for me. When she finished, I cleared my throat and tried to steady my voice, so I could tell that it was not she that should be apologizing.
She's always known the reason I left. I was dying. After her mom divorced me, I tried to kill myself. I had never failed at something so important to me before, and I didn't know how to cope with the divorce. Fortunately I failed with my suicide attempt, and have turned that failure into success. I knew it was God's way of telling me that my work on this planet was (and still isn't) complete. I know I have something important to do. I just hope I figure out what that is, before I get too much older.
Anyway… the conversation with Ashley about how she grew up without me was so heart wrenchingly bitter sweet, that words cannot express how I felt. I do not know why God has blessed me with three of the best daughters in the world, but… Thank you God.
1:00pm - We rode to campus, and picked up her cap and gown and dropped off some paperwork. She introduced me to two of her instructors, and several of her friends. I love being the father of Ashley. And Kellie. And Eron.
3:00pm - When we got back at her apartment, we continued talking about much lighter subjects, and played some video games. They've got this thing called 'Wii' which allows people to play games with people from all over the world… in real time. What will they think of next? Jeesh… next thing ya know, they'll be tellin' me there that people have walked on the moon.
Anyway, I played Mario Bros. Racing and I actually managed to not finish last on three different courses. After that, I was pooped. After all… I'd been racing around the country in real life for the last 1,800 miles. It just didn't seem right to do it while I was trying to relax.
I watched her for about five more races, while I tried not to snore during my catnap. She led a couple of the races for a while, but only won one. Come on Ashley… suck it up… where is that competitive spirit you've been bred with?
I say that in total jest. If anything, like I mentioned before… she's too competitive. Tennis was her main sport, but her competitive spirit overwhelmed her ability to cope with anything less than perfection, so she would fight herself mentally on the court, more than her competitor. She gained a lot of experience and knowledge from that part of her life, and is now much more able to loose gracefully. She still has the fire, but has now been able to channel that fire into a more productive and efficient method of effort.
Right now, her work and her relationship are her passions. In a year… after gaining some real life experience in her field of study, she's gonna go back to school and get her Masters Degree… find her dream job… and begin raising her family. What a gal. Could I possibly be more proud? I sure hope this John kid doesn't fuck things up.
6:00pm - After a very nice dinner at The Spaghetti House, I dropped Ash off at her doorstep, and after a long tight hug on the sidewalk, drove back to Seattle.
8:00pm - Asleep on the couch.
10:00pm - Asleep in Peter's bed. He wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, and slept on the floor in their game room… his 'man cave'.
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